confident or insecure blog

What is Real-Confidence or Insecurity?

What is real – confidence or insecurity? We can feel strong and secure in ourselves one moment. In another moment, we find ourselves feeling insecure about the same thing.

What if confidence is innate?

What if confidence didn’t leave us, it just feels like it does? What if we are born with confidence? What if confidence is the very essence of who we are? Yet, we can easily fall into an insecure feeling throughout the day. What causes that?

When we have confidence

Notice little babies when learning to walk. They take a step, fall down and pick themselves up. If it hurts, they may cry. However, when they stop crying and are ready, they get up and attempt again. Do they lose their confidence? Do they have a lot of thinking about what they are doing? No and no. They just do it.

How about heroic deeds? I just listened to three remarkable stories on one of the major news channels. In each of these stories, the hero said they didn’t think, they just acted. Confidence wasn’t an issue. It was there, built in to our system.

When we feel insecure

My mother innocently told me when I was young that I was shy. I believed her – hook, line, and sinker! ¬†Another person may have absorbed it in a different way or ignored it all together. I didn’t have to fall for what my mother said, yet I believed it to be true. Innocently, I thought anything that came through my head was true.

I watched a PBS Documentary of Muhammad Ali recently. His first boxing coach said that when he started, he wasn’t good at boxing, yet he was so passionate about it. What if he had fallen for some insecure thinking at that time and let that affect his future?

Negative thinking about ourselves never allows us to feel good and confident. Our minds contract. We feel insecure and only see our limited negative perception. Can you see how negative thoughts in your head cause an insecure feeling?

Where does confidence come from?

I noticed that there were many more times that I felt good and nothing about me was shy. In fact, maybe I was in a temporary shy stage when I was young? By labeling myself shy, I thought it was a thing about me. I made it a problem when it really wasn’t a problem. I am not a shy person. Are there times when I feel insecure? Yes. We all do when we have negative thinking about ourselves. Our believed thinking really does create our perceived reality.

Now what if having that chatter in my head was normal and out of my control? It is estimated that we have up to 70,000 or more thoughts come into our head a day. There is no way to control that. What if the thoughts were not the problem? Could the problem be buying into those thoughts and believing they are real?

There is no such thing as insecurity. It’s only insecure Thought.

Sydney Banks

How much strength and confidence can be felt in negative thinking or in confused overthinking? When we feel insecure, what if all it means is that our minds are cluttered with negative thinking that we believe is real in that moment? What if underneath those thoughts, lies a built in confidence and clarity of mind?

Cheers and love,


P.S. If the above resonated, you may want to read,


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